Rivers’ Rant: The Infamous Intro

Brace yourselves. This can get rough!

 

Get ready for a sports take from a brutally honest, highly opinionated perspective.

riverstexans

What it is, what it was, and what it be like? First things second.  I’m Rivers, a full-time barber, hip-hop snob, movie critic, and all around sports junkie.  For the most part sports will be the topic of discussion. Just a little fun fact, I’m bilingual. Proficient in both English and profanity so there’s going to be some rough language.

Rarely does my crew miss a good round of fisticuffs, a highlight dunk, or the latest one handed catch. Then we proceed to debate the fuck out of each other’s opinions. We all have our own alliances of course, but as for me, I’m a diehard Texans fan. Hell everything Houston. If you ask me ‘The Tyler Rose’ is the hardest running back ever to grace the field. Bum Phillips is a deified saint. Nolan Ryan is the best pitcher ever and I refuse to have the proverbial quarterback G.O.A.T. conversation without Warren Moon.

THE MAN HAD THE WORST RECEIVING CORE IN THE HISTORY OF THE SPORT, I REFUSE TO DEBATE THIS! (Of course I will at the drop of a hat but that’s not the point)

Last but not least Hakeem ‘The Dream’ Olajuwon is the greatest PF of all time. I know what you’re saying, ‘but Rivers Olajuwon was a center’. To that I’d say if you ever stop me again while I’m talking I’ll cut your fucking nuts off!  True, but Tim Duncan practically played center yet he’s listed as PF. Personally, The Dream is the better all around player and I have absolutely no way, other than blind fan devotion, to usurp Kareem Abdul Jabbar of the title of greatest center and possibly player, like they say, *insert Jay Z line*

Brutal honesty is something I pride myself on that and my undying hatred of the Dallas Cowboys and their shitty, ass hat fans and dry wit. Hopefully all will shine through in my prideful prose about sport and the men and women that play. Keep in mind my article will bring politics into play and a whole lot of hypocritical personal feelings. Feel free to check me and call me on my bullshit if you feel I get a little too astray from the real. Seriously though, there are certain times when your personal feelings and convictions change or are challenged in a major way due to new facts so I will vary my opinion from time to time.

I will attempt to be humorously conscious like Muhammad Ali, and Dick Gregory, but brutal like a Mike Tyson uppercut and the Bruce Lee front kick. To quote Bill Russell ‘it’s better to understand than to be understood’  and that’s all I’m going to be seeking from these post. It’s gonna be hard and crushing, unflinching yet at the same time adapting like Sifu Lee says, be water my friend, be water.

mikebruceali

Rivers

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