My take on the Ray Rice saga

Welcome to the Corner Store. After watching this latest Ray Rice footage of knockin out his then fiance I’ve decided to address the issue.  I didn’t want to touch the issue at 1st because there was just too much speculation about what happened in the elevator.  Now that we see the footage of what took place before he drug her out and laid her on the floor I can honestly speak on it without having to guess what really happened.  The last thing that I want to do is assume that a man beat down his significant other if he only pushed her off of him to keep her from attacking him and she fell and hit her head.  Obviously that ain’t what happened.  He instigated the physical confrontation on the elevator.  I’ll get to that later though.  What I really want to touch on is the fact that everybody wants to lynch and castrate Ray Rice for assaulting her but very few are addressing the real issue.  When Stephen A Smith addressed the entire issue he was blasted and that’s BS.  The fact of the matter is that the elevator assault was not an isolated incident.  There was obviously a build up that both parties played a role in.  We don’t know what was said or done before the cameras picked them up so there’s no need to speculate.  From the moment they appeared on camera we see Ray leaning on a pole or column waiting on with fiance.  She appears on camera and looks at him, says something, then smacks him in the face, and then walks off like that was a playa move.  The problem besides the fact that she hit him in the face is that she did it in a public place.  There were at least 2 people in the immediate vicinity that saw and or heard what they had going on.  One lady looked towards them and looked down to the ground as if to say “let me mind my business”. The other lady just kept walking.  As a man, my pet peeve is to be embarrassed in public.  If my wife has an issue with me, she knows not to address it in a public forum like social media or a public place. Unless, hypothetically, she’s intentionally trying to push my buttons because she knows what buttons to push like most wives.  We have an understanding that if I piss her off then address me when we get away from spectators, unless I’m acting a fool in public.  Mrs. Rice showed her fiance up in front of on lookers when she slapped him in his face before they got on the elevator.  That’s embarrassing to any man.  Men don’t take that kind of stuff well and unfortunately too many sisters are comfortable with dishing out that type of treatment on their men in public.  It’s an attempt to belittle and emasculate a man when his woman loud talks him and smacks his face in public.  That’s the only fault that I see on this video that Mrs. Rice has.

The rest is on Ray.  Maybe he snapped.  I’m not sure what they had going on, but it looked like he couldn’t wait to get on the elevator so he could get on her ass for whatever happened outside of the elevator.  He immediately walked up on her while she was obviously heated over their drama, then either says something to her or spits on her.  The media outlets say that he spit on her.  She then hits him with a forearm to the chest to get him off of her, which was well within her rights of having her personal space invaded when she feels threatened or assaulted, then he open hand mushed her with some force.  She then approaches him without throwing a blow and gets struck with what I think is another open hand blow(mush) to the face that was more forceful than the 1st blow that caused her to hit her head on the metal elevator handrail.  I believe that this is what knocked her out.  The media spins things like saying he specifically hit her with an uppercut or he beat on her with combos.  What Ray did was weak as hell and can’t be excused but don’t spin it to make the story sound better for your ratings.

The worse part is that they sat on that podium and let the woman take all of the heat by saying that she attacked him on the elevator and he was defending himself.  I’ve had that happen to me before and it’s a real situation.  I have a friend that this happened to as well.  He didn’t hit the lady back but he did grab her wrists hard as hell to keep himself from being punched which in turn caused her to bruise.  People were going around saying that he  beat on that woman because they saw bruises on her arms all the while ignoring the scratches on his face and neck from her attack.  So I don’t just jump on the bandwagon of every man that puts bruises on a woman is a wife beater.  There are some dudes that habitually beat women up but we can’t put that jacket on the back of every man that gets into a domestic dispute with a woman.

This woman clearly assaulted Ray by smacking him in his face and saying whatever she said to him outside of the elevator but he instigated the entire elevator incident and took it waaaaaaayyyy too far.  He could have killed that woman and been in much more trouble than being kicked out of the NFL.  Ever seen He Got Game when Denzel Washington shoved his wife down and she hit her head on the stove?  He went to prison for manslaughter even though that was not his intentions.  I don’t care what she said to him before they got on camera or if she did embarrass him by smacking his face in public it ain’t worth losing your freedom over a murder case.

My main point is that there is a better way to handle disputes that we all need to take heed to.  She could have waited until they got in their room to express her anger instead of calling him out and belittling him in front of people by smacking him in his face and he could have just left for a while to cool off if she was pushing his buttons.  Shit happens but we ain’t got to swim in it.

I don’t believe that we grow from situations if we only address one side of it.  We have to view the entire situation with an unbiased eye and see what we could have done differently to steer the issue in a direction that is more conflict resolution friendly.  I hope this brother and sister can get on with their lives without the world prying into their every move  and I hope that they are more mature coming out of the storm than they were before the storm brewed.  If you have conflict issues in your relationship, then start by seeing what you can do to bring about an atmosphere of peace instead of being the hell raiser of the family.  If things are as bad as what we saw on that video then maybe it’s best that you no longer to continue to build with that person.  I’m going to do my best not to address this subject anymore as I have my own family to lead and I have my own flaws to correct. Peace

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